I’ve been watching a documentary on my planet called Deep Space 9. What do you know about Deep Space 1-8? Is there a Deep Space that is 10 or greater?Read More
HARK'S TOUGH LOVE
In this column, expert rebel advice columnist Captain Hark Tartigast doles out sage advice to would-be rebellion recruits. Click the posts below to read his hard-jawed advice!
Could you use advice from a decorated rebel hero? No question is too weird! (Okay, maybe some are.) Email firstname.lastname@example.org and ask Hark ANYTHING (almost).
And don’t forget that you can help save Hark!
We are currently in the middle of an investigation that involves some individuals that may have come from your universe or a universe like it.Read More
On a return trip from Kenzinger 6 our ship was hit with a Federated Alliance EMP missile, and now my cybernetic implants have gone all jucking weird.Read More
Our fronts bounce off each other. Do you think I should change my body for this? The procedure would involve me eating my curve until it’s curved in.Read More
The other day I woke up with a painful red spot on my lower eyelid that feels like a bruise more than anything else… Do you think this could be a K'hekk infection, and if so, do you know of any physicians in my area who would take my Federated Alliance standard package insurance?Read More
I'm from Mufftop 7 and been trying to woo this hot to trot Knobnub. The problem is she's a non-native transplant to Mufftop 7 (she was grafted onto a Tellurian) and not really familiar with Mufftopian ways: not Mufftopia 1, 2, Skipafew, or 7 (I know, right?).Read More
My problem is this: when she was sharing her eyeball with her two sisters, my girlfriend gave me an ultimatum.Read More
I’m having trouble with my “blaster.” It doesn’t... shoot, like it used to. At one point, I could fire off a few shots when I was making... uh... “war” with a lady.Read More
I am very interested in joining the rebellion, but first, I need to be sure you aren’t just some bored pink Tellurian from Rangus 8 trying to waste my Juckin time…Read More
My spaceship girlfriend recently got outfitted with some new top-of-the-line M-33-22G3 blasters after she applied for service in the Federated Alliance and it's really gotten to her processor…Read More
My ex-girlfriend broke my heart. Literally broke it - i've had it replaced with three Garfon hearts connected in parallel fashion…Read More
Hey, I'm interested in joining your guys' rebellion but I'm still in college. Are there any internship programs…Read More
So I have a “friend” who happens to be a sentient being who embodies a large and very attractive gas cloud. What if my “friend” were to meet another sentient being who embodies a planet…Read More