Hark's Tough Love



An artist's rendering of Rebel Captain Hark Tartigast

In this column, expert rebel advice columnist Captain Hark Tartigast doles out sage advice to would-be rebellion recruits. Click the posts below to read his hard-jawed advice!

Could you use advice from a decorated rebel hero? No question is too weird! (Okay, maybe some are.) Email toughlove@missiontozyxx.space and ask Hark ANYTHING (almost).

And don’t forget that you can help save Hark!


Out of my depth

Dearest Hark,

I’ve been watching a documentary on my planet called Deep Space 9. What do you know about Deep Space 1-8? Is there a Deep Space that is 10 or greater? My mind is being juk’n blown by these thoughts. If I join the Rebellion, can I explore these different space deepnesses?

All the best,



Dear Ga’Zerkleflex,
I’ll be honest, Ga’Z; knowledge of the depths of space was never my strong suit at the Academy. Heck, if it weren’t for my uncanny ability to pilot any fighter I laid my hands on, and walk away from any crash I got caught in, I might have lived the simple life as a bartender at a casino or some such, giving my patented tough love away for free with each bottle of orange beer.
Are there more than ten deep spaces? I mean, maybe! What of deep spaces one through nine? Darned if I know. I couldn’t be more out of my element even if I were in charge of a bustling space station, filled with a host of fascinating characters from all across the galaxy. It’s just not my area!
But you seem like a bright inquisitive sort who spends their time watching documentaries on the fabric of the universe. I guarantee the Rebellion could use your stellar know-how and desire to understand on their side. A friend of mine in the Astrography Division of the Rebellion claims they’ve just discovered a stable wormhole - can you even imagine? If I were you, I’d put in my application today!
- Hark Tartigast, signing off!
Seth Lind